January 30, 2009 The Escape

Thoughts of you fill my head
Even after avoiding them at all cost
I try to comprehend the possibility of you and me but
Somehow it doesn't seem right
Then again when I hear your voice
My heart gets stirred up again
So everytime that phone rings
I pray and hope you aren't on the other end
Time allows me to escape my feelings for you
I wonder if you know and try to maintain
Your position in my world
I hope with every new day
You'd no longer be a thought taking up space
That day hasn't come
As for now time will be my escape from hearing your voice
Emotions flooding back in
Making my soul burn
With desire for you

January 29, 2009

Out of all the BB apps, I am still quite impressed with Slacker radio! I can't now imagine life without it. Get all kinds of wonderful music with endless possibilities. Listening to Sade's Lover's Rock! Nice mellow way to start my morning. I may jus sign up 4 the paid version.
It's good to always have a person you can talk to when things get crazy. Because of some events that have taken place because of a person's need to be selfish and unconcerned for others, I have gained a friend to replace the one I lost. Sometimes life throws a curve ball and you just gotta know when to hit. The last couple of days have been a learning experience. I am sure I will have many more.

January 28, 2009~Heartache

My heart feels heavy not quite sure why
Thought I wouldn't care if you walked out my life
Figured I'd be better off anyway
Still a part of me feels sadness when I realize I'll never look at you the same
You can't play games with people's emotions and think there'll be no repercussions
My heart will ache for a bit but funny how time heals all wounds
Never imagined you'd do me this way
Laugh and smile in my face all the while doing the same to someone else
Thinkin you slick and u can't get caught
Bet now you wish you would have thought twice
Playing with fire will get you burned
My heart will ache but time will eventually take it away
One day you'll awake and realize all that you've desired is what you already had
Now it's only too late to get it all back
Somehow we always reap what we sow

January 27, 2009~When the light comes on!

You've done all you can to prove your heart's desires
Then again was it what they desired as well
You've made the calls
Gave it your all
But still it seems as if it doesn't matter
So you try again a little bit harder
Then one day without so much as a notice
The light comes on and you say "Forget this"
Why keep giving if there is no receiving in return
Why put yourself out there if you constantly get burned
That is when the light comes on
And so you give that very ultimatum and hope that it will change the situation
Only to realize that it still won't matter
Cause the light hasn't come on for the latter

More Poetry Pieces!

~The First Time~

I opened the door
He smiled at me
That nervous kinda smile
I smiled back at him
That “don’t worry” kinda smile
He asked about the candles
The music in the back ground
Breaking the ice
So he could feel comfortable
He took off his shoes
Just my minor request
Had a seat on my couch
Rubbed his palms together
Trying to hide the sweat
I sat beside him
Asked about the drive all this way
Not much traffic was all he could say
As he looked deep into my eyes
Wondering if I was sure about this
I assured him I was
Asked if he needed a drink
That would be nice
But water would do just fine
I returned, water in hand
He drank fast
Told him to slow down
I wasn’t going anywhere
He apologized…asked for another glass
I smiled “thirsty huh?”
He just smiled back
I returned once again with water in hand
This time he drank slowly not
Taking his eyes off me
The ice had been broken
He was no longer nervous
He sat down the glass
Told me to have a seat
The way he looked at me made me wet
Sweat began to trickle down my back and nothing hadn’t happen yet
He moved in closer
My heart beat faster
His lips touched mine
My heart beat faster
His hands reached for mine
My heart beat faster
He stood me up
Wrapped his hands around my waist
Asked me to dance
My heart almost leaped out of my chest
We slowly danced as I watched our shadows on the wall
He kissed me again
This time with more passion
I could see fire in his eyes
He was ready to put it out
And I would be the quencher
He took my hand lead me to the bedroom
More candles
Music still in the background
He smiled
“All this just for me?”
I smiled
He knew the answer
Slowly he kissed me
Undressed me
Asked me to walk around
Wanted to admire me in the candle light
I felt shy
Almost embarrassed
“First time for everything” was all he could say
I just smiled and sat down on the bed
He came sat beside me
I began to undress him
Asked him to let me admire him
He said that wouldn’t be necessary
I’d have plenty of time to do that
He took my face in his hands
Asked me again
I assured him I was ready
Time for our paths to cross
His fire began to fill me
Passion boiling over
So many late night conversations
Now reality had taken place
He moaned, I groaned
He called out my name
As I took him in farther
He spoke about the way my lips felt
How my tongue made him melt
He hadn’t known how long I’ve been wanting to
Feel him inside my mouth
He felt himself get closer to the end so I stopped
Then started all over again
He pulled me up to him
Said it was my turn
His tongue found all of my places
Even the one’s hidden so far and deep away
I moaned, called out his name
He said how sweet I tasted and how he could stay there all night
I wanted to feel him inside of me
Wanted to know how long it would take
For him to bring me to pure ecstasy
We were face to face
Him on top of me
I underneath
I could feel him as he made his way
We danced a dance I had never danced before
I looked deep into his eyes with every thrust
Flipped him over so I could ride rough
Never taking my eyes off him
Pure ecstasy was written on his face as he and I
Began to explode
I felt myself fall on top of him
He kissed my lips, my eyes, my forehead
Spoke of how great he felt
Held me tight
Fell asleep for the night
As I laid there looking into his sleeping eyes
Wondering how many more times
My name would cross his lips
In a fit of passion
He must have read my mind
“This definitely is not our last time”

Simple

I am simple
Not hard to please
Complicated confuses me
Constrains who I really am
I cannot change how I feel
No matter how I try
If I could completely walk away
From you
I would
You take up space that
You don't deserve
I haven't figured out how
To make you disappear
It subsides for only a moment
Then I look into your face
or hear your voice
And everything that I have
pushed away
comes rushing back
It overwhelms me
And for the life of me
I can't
figure out why
It's not meant to be
Not meant to be more than what it is
But still passion burns that
only yearns for you
Many words are inspired
for one who doesn't deserve
to experience what I hold inside

January 23, 2009

I swear work and Winter are taking a toll on me and I cannot wait until Spring arrives. Funny thing today I realize I miss paper and pen. The feeling I get when I put ink to paper and create something so wonderful from my heart and soul. Sometimes it's good to do things ol' skool style so we don't miss out on the little things. Sometimes technology can make me lazy but if I am true to myself then the natural way things are suppose to be will always resurface.
I heard that D'Angelo is going on tour and working on a new album. I have been wondering about where he has been but am very much looking forward to his new album.

In Honor Of Mr. President!

Today we will embark on a historic change that will forever change the lives of not only African Americans but of all nationalities! Has our past predicted this? Did we ever think that in this lifetime we would have a Black President? He is a man of great magnitude and persona. When you see him, hear him, listen to him it makes you stand at attention! His charisma makes you want to get to know him and follow what it is he has to say. Nothing about today is ordinary! Unlike any other inauguration this one is special and significant and will be remembered for all time.

Side Note #1

Normally I don't do this but it seems unfair to keep to myself although it's possible that many may already know! Slacker for Blackberry is quite nice and totally awesome! I downloaded it about an hour ago and am quite pleased with it! The interface is slick and user friendly! You can type in an artist name and it'll play that artist as well as songs that pretty much go along with that category. You can also check out the many other preset stations if you want variety! You can't quite pick songs you'd like to hear as far as I can tell but for me the variety alone is enough to keep me happy and possibly discover even more music to add to my growing collection. My ears love almost everything! Slacker will become a permanent icon on my home screen and get used quite often! May not even need to bring the iTouch along for awhile! If you're interested go to http://m.slacker.com/ from your BlackBerry and enter Music Nirvana @ your own risk!

~Soulgroovy~

January 18, 2009-The give and the take

I've missed a couple of days again mostly cause I was pretty exhausted from work. I am back now and ready for a little writing.
There are people in your life that are givers and takers. I consider myself a giver mostly and sometimes I give too much. I have people in my life who take but never give. At first I don't notice because my need to give clouds my judgement but then after awhile I realize that it's not always 50/50. Even after realizing that it's not 50/50, I still continue to give and realize that in most instances that is how it'll always be. It's the way my heart is designed no matter how much I try to deny it. In retrospect it's always better to give than to receive and that works for me!

January 15, 2009

Today was one of the coldest days I remember in a long time. Last time I checked it was like -13 degrees. I can't quite understand how that is possible but this is Chicago and I have seen all four seasons in one day. This is the kind of weather that you can lose fingers, toes, and other important parts. I am glad that the City of Chicago has warming centers for homeless people and that they even go out and try to locate them and help them to get to a warming center. It is great to see that they aren't being forgotten. I hope that we all survive this "deep freeze" and make it to Spring. I am so looking forward to Spring and all the newness that comes with it. My favorite part is hearing the birds chirp in the morning and the smell of fresh cut grass. It's been a kind of rough Winter thus far but we will fair through and and move into Spring gladly.

January 14, 2009 & Observations

The week that Anthony Hamilton's CD came out, I went right out and bought it. I haven't been able to stop listening to it. Had a couple of days without it and this mornin I realized I needed my fix! The song "My Soul Is On Fire" somewhat reflects things in my life. I wanna sing this song with every fiber of my being but seeing as how I'm on the train @ the moment, may not go over well. His whole album is quite soulful and I think he deserves much more exposure than what he's gettin. It just may inspire some poetry!

My Soul's on Fire

The burning sensation in my soul everytime I think of you.
Can you possible imagine that if you asked, I'd give you my all.
Explore everything that makes you, you.
Makes you make me feel the way I do.
This burning sensation I get when our hands touch, lips cross in sweet euphoria.
My soul's on fire for you.
But as much as I try to smother the flame,
it finds a way to ignite all over again.
And so I live everyday with my soul on fire for you.

January 13, 2009

Well the idea of posting everyday doesn't seem like such a great idea! For one there isn't always something worth writing about everyday and secondly I would end up with a blog with over 300 post that may or may not be worth reading. The one thing I will say is I can NOT wait til Spring! Normally being an all my life Chicago resident, the winter wouldn't bother me but my gosh it has snowed almost every week since December and then on top of it has the nerve to get cold! That just generally sucks now! I don't usually like to complain because it won't do any good anyway but sometimes it's necessary just so I can get over it and get it out of my system! I'm done! Time is an amazing thing because little by little things are changing for me and I'm willing to accept it and keep it movin. I'm starting to see the light ahead in this tunnel I have seem to have been stuck in the last couple of months! What doesn't kill you will make you stronger and possibly build character. The thing is though you have to be open and willing to allow the challenge and to see it as that and find the strength within to overcome and come out on top on the other side! So with that I am going to take those words and apply them to my life and my situation and look for a positive outcome no matter what!

January 11, 2009

So I have missed Friday and Saturday in my quest to write everyday. It's not as easy as I thought plus I have been contemplating a major change that part of me thinks I will be happy with and the other part of me just may regret but I won't know unless I try so I have to listen to my heart and follow what she says to me. It has been coming up in me too many times lately and so I think it is time to listen to my inner voice and do what comes naturally. I cannot make up for the two days gone but I can try to do better from this day forward!

January 8, 2009

Sometimes you don't understand why things happen but they just happen and you have to accept them as they happen. I know how I feel about certain things in my life and as much as I try to understand why I feel that way, it doesn't always make sense to me. I guess in due time it will reveal itself or just all together go away but until that happens you have to deal with it as it happens. Sometimes I wish my heart would listen to my head but I guess if it did that I wouldn't have had the many experiences I have had thus far in my lifetime. This is not for fortune nor fame just me expressing myself through literary means which my soul will not, cannot deny. Time....always moves at it's own pace and shall not be moved.

January 7, 2009

It's that kind of quiet day where not much is needed to be said but I gotta keep writing!

A Moment of Creativity

The first time I felt his lips his hands made my soul feel on fire.
Some kind of passion that seemed almost unbearable to control.
Wanted to unleash the desire within me to remove every article of clothing to feel him inside me.
No need to hide my motive we were already headed in that direction.
Might as well not fake the funk now.
Time to get our groove thang going and reach that pure point of ecstasy that we've been searching for.

January 6, 2009

Well actually it's the 7th but I fell asleep and went right into the new day. Communication is not always an easy task. I try but it's not always successful but I still try. Sometimes you get to your wits end and you want to give up but there is that part of you that just can't. I wonder if you ever get past that part? There are some people that I have met in the past who have a way of brightening up my day or even making my day and that always makes me smile. It's funny how in the beginning you never expect it to get that way but it does. I like that sometimes we can feed off of each other's positive energy. There are instances where it can be a negative feed but for the most part I try to avoid that. I have also realized that some connections are only for a season and it's a reality that is sometimes hard to swallow.

January 5, 2009

Almost let this day slip away without at least putting something down. I am trying to be consistent and hopefully it will last all year! It is what it is!

January 4, 2009

The heart wants what the heart wants even if it can't have what it wants. I think I feel things sometimes deeper than I would like to but can't seem to help feel. My decision to expose some sides of myself through my writing was a big decision for me. I'm quite private and somewhat uncertain of letting people in but in someways I'd like to change that. There always is gonna be a part of yourself that you want to keep to yourself but it doesn't have to be all of you. So everyday little by little, I am going to expose a little more of myself so as not to be afraid of exposure. There will be some days when I will not be feeling like exposure and that'll be alright with me!