May 3, 2009 The Birds and The Bees

The interactions with the opposite sex never cease to amaze me. You meet a guy/gal and either sparks fly or not. If sparks fly then you choose to make the time to get to know one another. After spending time, feelings began to develop and you find yourself wanting to act on these feelings. It could be spending more time with this person to see how far the two of you are willing to go. It has a significant impact on how much time two people are willing to spend with each other, ask the questions that need to be asked and say the things that need to be said. Most times we find ourselves afraid to ask the questions that we want to ask for fear of the answer. You have to ask the questions in order to know the answers. I have began to implement those ideas into my own relationships because I want to know and I don't want fear to take that away from me.

April 30, 2009 April Showers, May Flowers

I know April showers bring May flowers but my goodness with all the rain! I can only go so many days without sunlight. I have gone 4 days and I feel like I'm dragging. Today it peeked out and I ran to soak up it's rays but then the clouds returned and took away my Sun! I am so ready for Spring and Sunshine.

Good Bye Love

Good bye love
Sorry you weren't good enough for me
Made me think that maybe almost possibly we could be
Said all the things I wanted to hear
But actions never taking place
You missed out on a beautiful thing
You're heart would have been safe
I would have been there in your darkest hour
My shoulder when you needed to cry
My ear when you needed to confide
My body when you needed passion
My heart when you needed love
My soul to be one with yours
Somehow you thought you were going keep me in circles
Guess you missed when I made that exit left stage right
It's ok I now realize you weren't ready for me anyway
But I thank you for all the times you made my heart feel joy
Pain and all the in between
Because without that my gift would have disappeared into the wind
Never to be seen again
Good bye love
You weren't good enough for me

April 13, 2009 Thoughts of the day

It seems that many of my poems are of the erotic nature lately. Maybe that could have some kind of underlying meaning or maybe that I have tapped into that part of me that I have no problem embracing. It is but of human nature. I guess the part of me that wasn't so sure about sharing it has now overcome that fear. Everyday I am growing more and more into this "gift" that a very good friend of mine (he knows who he is...smile) calls it. Maybe it was meant for me to share it with the world or just those close to my world. So many times we let fear prevent us from doing what we were meant to do. I let fear have that effect on me but I will not any longer. If reading about, writing about and exploring my erotic side brings someone else fear, well they will just have to figure out a way to get past it or not read this at all. I have let fear push me away from so many things, even things that matter most to my heart. Even if I cannot understand why things happen the way they do, why a person says one thing and does something different, or that someone cannot accept me for all the wonderfulness I possess, I will not let fear prevent me from using my gift to express myself, from living my life to its fullest potential and for not believing in myself when others didn't. I only have this one life and it was designed to live no matter the ups and downs, the good and bad, it is my life.

April 13, 2009 The Slow Grind

He presses up against me
I can feel his manhood sequestering my womanhood
I try to act as if it doesn't faze me but my insides get wet with anticipation of his next move
He kisses my neck and that spot near my ear
My knees began to shake
He presses harder up against me
I try to act as if it doesn't faze me
My breathing becomes heavy and I feel my finger nails digging
Deeper, deeper, deeper into his flesh
He presses even harder against me
Slightly opening my legs until his fingers find my wetness
My womanhood
He gently, slowly grinds his manhood until he finds the place his fingers prepared
I try to act as if it doesn't faze me
I am up against the wall riding him so effortlessly
He presses inside of me
I try to act as if it doesn't faze me
We both fall limp from pure ecstasy

March 29, 2009 Passion

Can I say that this fire stirring up in me is more than I have ever felt before.
The thought of you touching me, me touching you, excites me.
I close my eyes and sometimes that is all I can see.
Us moving to the rhythm of our own passion.
So much time has passed.
So long we have waited and yet my desire for you grows stronger everyday.
The wonder of that unspoken word I dare not say.
Only to know that it makes everything brighter.
That at times when I haven't heard your voice,
I feel a little dismayed.
When I am finally near you, my heart will continually skip a beat.
Breathing becomes erratic and the throbbing between my thighs will be more than I can handle.
Passion that I can hardly contain and wait to share with you.

March 23, 2009 Synchronization

Funny how my heart and mind can't quite agree with certain situations in my life. My mind keeps leaning to a lost cause and chock it up to experience. My heart wants to hold out to the possibility of more developing. I'm on the fence not even sure which way to lean. My theory is always follow your heart but the mind is concerned that maybe this theory will not be proven this time. Maybe give it a little more time and see what happens.

Had a dream this morning that I went to the U.K. As an exchange student. It was quite vivid. I met some really kool roommates that were actually from there. They embraced me as if we've been knowing each other for quite sometime. I couldn't quite get use to the time difference. In my dream there was a big difference. If it was morning here, it was night time there. It was a nice dream, kinda sorry it had 2 end. Must mean I need to travel. Only time will tell!

March 19, 2009 Randomness...continued

Sometimes I write because the urge in me is stronger than I can bear even when I feel I don't have anything in particular to write about. I will embrace Spring and all it's glory when it arrives. It is like the start of a new beginning....although this sounds to be a common saying, it does have some truth. Flowers bloom, trees get new leaves, grass grows and becomes green, animals return and the sun shines more everyday. Now is a good time to change the things that aren't making you happy and find the things that will.

March 16, 2009 The Funny Thing Is

As you grow older does the magnitude of your heart change?
In the beginning, it has a certain innocence and openess. Experiences transpire and whether they are negative or positive, it leaves a mark. Sometimes if there are more negative than positive, it may cause some to be jaded. Does the feeling ever change like when you meet someone new and you get all giddy inside? Does it have a jaded angle to it? I would think it would depend on the person and all that they have been through but hopefully hope doesn't completely disappear. Time reveals so many things.

March 9, 2009 Honestly

It amazes me that in this time, we can't tell people how we really feel because we are so afraid of how they may react or if they feel the same. I get tired of holding it in and when I do express myself, I don't quite get the reaction I was hoping for but nevertheless, I refuse to let that deter me. I am a hopeless romantic @ heart and I am not afraid to admit it. It stifles my creativity to not express myself and when I express myself with words to a particular person, it comes from a different depth of my soul. As much as I try to run from it, hide from it or just plain deny it, my need to express myself with words is a like oxygen and water. I cannot survive without neither. I will not let the weight of the world's view on love, like or openly expression prevent me from letting my soul speak freely. It is who I am and if other souls are unable to embrace it, know that it is genuine and accept it, well then quite frankly, it's their loss! To be loved by me and placed into the depths of my soul, is an experience unlike any other and quite unforgettable.

March 2, 2009 More Randomness

It has been quite a few days since I have written here. Somedays I haven't enough to say to write or it's too personal to share with the world. I have to have a private outlet as well! Honestly this is my passion, writing but sometimes I lose my fire! I know it happens to all of us who enjoy writing but I don't want it to be lost forever! It almost seems an obsession so I doubt if that'll happen! Been listening to a lot of RnB and soul music but I need to give my alternative side some time also so gonna switch gears and get that rock, alternative sound going! Nothing like some Auto Rock by Mogwai to get the heart pumping! I can just close my eyes and imagine a scene of my life that would go great with this song or better yet a scene I am waiting to create with someone very special to me. Music and writing are my solace!

February 25, 2009 It's Hump Day!

Wednesday again, the middle of the week that makes it all downhill after today. Some of us live for the weekend, while others are just grateful to live. I use to be one of those who lived for the weekend but after seeing that there is no specific age when death chooses to visit you, I realized I need to live for everyday and be grateful for all those days, moments, hours and seconds! Tomorrow is not promised so I am grateful for every moment that God has blessed me with!

February 23, 2009 Randomness

Obviously I believe in Love. Have since the reality of it became clear. It was first learned from my Parents and other family members. Grew up and learned it was possible to feel that way about someone of the opposite sex. Yet at that early age I wasn't quite sure of all its capabilities. Just being a teenager was confusing enough and then to add emotions for the opposite sex just made it more complicated. Emotions ran high during those times and you weren't always so certain of your feelings. Time passes and you began to have more experiences that either give you a better understanding of loving the opposite sex or possibly confusing you more. No matter how many of these experiences I have had, it never caused me to stop believing in love and all its wonderful possibilities. Of course there were times I became quite frustrated with love but there was always this one part of me that wouldn't stop believing no matter how disappointed I became. I guess in many ways I am a romantic and will always believe in the endless possibilities of when two souls who have searched for one another finally unite. That it will be the ultimate experience of what love has to offer between the opposite sex.

February 18, 2009 It Is What It Is

Rain can be a romantic thing but not so romantic when u have to travel in it or work in it. It's gonna still fall because the earth needs it and it is what it is! I enjoy being in the rain in the summer months when it's hot outside.and it cools things off. Although it maybe for only a little bit, it can be quite cleansing and refreshing. Sometimes it's wonderful to be nurtured by Earth.

February 14, 2009 Happy Valentine's Day!!

I am a strong believer in Love.
No matter how many times my heart has been broken or disappointed, I still believe.
I believe there is a person out there who completes me, who is my soulmate and who I can give my everything to.
In many ways I believe I have found him but that we haven't quite come into our time.
As much as I have tried to deny what my heart feels, it doesn't go away and no other will do.
I possess a lot of patience and I am willing to wait for things to come as they are meant to be.
It may seem as if that isn't possible but I believe that we are not designed to live life alone and we cannot let our past disappointments and heartaches cloud our true desire to love and be loved. I still believe in love and will keep my heart open to all its many possibilities no matter what.
God is love and so am I!

February 12, 2009 My Sound Of Music

The sound of music is like making love.
It can start as a slow grind and as the tempo changes the movements adjust to the flow.
Slow and easy or fast and hard.
Depends on your preference and how far you wanna take it.
Music gives me butterflies and causes my heart to beat faster!
Sweat running down the small of my back as the melody fills my ears and my hips sway to the rhythm that fills the room.
I become lost in its mesmerizing effects before finally drifting off into a deep slumber.

February 11, 2009 The Reality of Possibility

In life sometimes I take a step back and review.
The things that I want or desire aren't always what I need.
But somehow I've convinced myself that I do need it and get caught up trying to obtain it.
The reality of the possibility of me accomplishing it hardly ever succeeds but I digress.
You can't control people and their actions.
You can't make someone like, love or be with you no matter how much you have tried to prove that you desire that with them.
Sometimes it's just better to walk away because if it's meant for you to have, it'll usually come to you.
You shouldn't have to subject yourself to any out of character acts to win someone over.
Love is not designed that way.
It is simple, uncomplicated, and nurturing.
It's just that we as people sometimes complicate what isn't meant to be complicated.

February 9, 2009-House Soul Cleaning

Have you ever had things that took up space in your house but were no longer serving a purpose?
Does your soul carry such a habit as well?
Friendships that are no longer a help but a hinder?
Torches for lost loves who will never return?
Carrying around all this excess can clutter the path to the true you and possibly lose yourself.
Time to do some house soul cleaning and get rid of those things or persons that no longer serve a meaningful purpose in your life.
Your mind, body and soul will thank you for it.

February 7, 2009-The Gratefulness of Ungratefulness

The funny thing about people expecting what they haven't worked for, but thinking that all is owed to them, when they haven't even worked for what they are expecting.
The expectations to live, pay taxes and die should seem simple enough but yet it amazes me that some choose to complicate such simplicity.
I mean death or paying taxes isn't on many people's list of things to do but it is an inevitable circumstance that we must face by having life.
If you work hard then sometimes the rewards are more than one can expect but if you don't work at all or at least try and still expect a reward, would that make sense?
We are living in a time where people are loosing jobs, homes, cars, and family members who can't accept reality and yet some are ungrateful to have a job and a means to provide for themselves or their family.
So what if the little perks have to be taken away.
It is better than to have the bigger perk taken away where everyday you are wondering how you are gonna make it and take care of you and/or your family.
The gratefulness of ungratefulness is that one day your ungratefulness will blind you of the gratefulness you already have.
Then you will look back on the times when you should have been grateful for even the simple things of life like living, paying taxes, and eventually dying.
Death is the inevitable circumstance we must face for being granted the gift of life.
Not that it was our choice to come into the world so it will not be our choice to leave this world, but being grateful for what you have is better than ungrateful for what you don't.

February 3, 2009

Haven't posted in a couple of days! Trying to decide what to write and if it'll be worth writing. I have an idea I wanna try but not quite sure if I can pull it off! Only if I could spend my days n nights writing, my soul would be even more content but ofcourse my stomach wouldn't be seeing as how I'd be without steady income for food and other things! I guess I could always land a gig that would pay me to write! Um don't see that happening anytime soon! Guess I'll go work on my idea!