January 8, 2009

Sometimes you don't understand why things happen but they just happen and you have to accept them as they happen. I know how I feel about certain things in my life and as much as I try to understand why I feel that way, it doesn't always make sense to me. I guess in due time it will reveal itself or just all together go away but until that happens you have to deal with it as it happens. Sometimes I wish my heart would listen to my head but I guess if it did that I wouldn't have had the many experiences I have had thus far in my lifetime. This is not for fortune nor fame just me expressing myself through literary means which my soul will not, cannot deny. Time....always moves at it's own pace and shall not be moved.

January 7, 2009

It's that kind of quiet day where not much is needed to be said but I gotta keep writing!

A Moment of Creativity

The first time I felt his lips his hands made my soul feel on fire.
Some kind of passion that seemed almost unbearable to control.
Wanted to unleash the desire within me to remove every article of clothing to feel him inside me.
No need to hide my motive we were already headed in that direction.
Might as well not fake the funk now.
Time to get our groove thang going and reach that pure point of ecstasy that we've been searching for.

January 6, 2009

Well actually it's the 7th but I fell asleep and went right into the new day. Communication is not always an easy task. I try but it's not always successful but I still try. Sometimes you get to your wits end and you want to give up but there is that part of you that just can't. I wonder if you ever get past that part? There are some people that I have met in the past who have a way of brightening up my day or even making my day and that always makes me smile. It's funny how in the beginning you never expect it to get that way but it does. I like that sometimes we can feed off of each other's positive energy. There are instances where it can be a negative feed but for the most part I try to avoid that. I have also realized that some connections are only for a season and it's a reality that is sometimes hard to swallow.

January 5, 2009

Almost let this day slip away without at least putting something down. I am trying to be consistent and hopefully it will last all year! It is what it is!

January 4, 2009

The heart wants what the heart wants even if it can't have what it wants. I think I feel things sometimes deeper than I would like to but can't seem to help feel. My decision to expose some sides of myself through my writing was a big decision for me. I'm quite private and somewhat uncertain of letting people in but in someways I'd like to change that. There always is gonna be a part of yourself that you want to keep to yourself but it doesn't have to be all of you. So everyday little by little, I am going to expose a little more of myself so as not to be afraid of exposure. There will be some days when I will not be feeling like exposure and that'll be alright with me!

January 3, 2009

Somedays there will be much posting and then there are days when it will be minimal but I am going to try my best to write everyday. Have decided this year will be the year I pop my literary cherry and perform @ an open mic night. Came across a list of places that I am going to look into and then just go do my thang! It's time! Well off to make good on one of my resolutions of "being open more"!

Have You Ever?

Have you ever met someone who made your soul feel like it was on fire? Made your heart skip a beat everytime you saw them or heard their voice? That their presence drew you
Into them and when they are gone, it's as if they took the sparkle with them? Have you ever wondered that that person could be you having that effect on someone else. In someways this kind of person either pulls you in or scares you because it's unique compared to all your other experiences. As much as you try to escape it or understand it, the more it seems to consume you. Is it possible that this is the person who completes you, the ying to your yang, the shine to your sun? Of course fear can get in the way and make you doubt what is staring you right in the face. In retrospect, the heart to me is usually the best guide but choosing to follow it is always hard to decide.

January 1, 2009

Love. It seems like a simple word but somehow is complicated. Many of us desire it, need it, have it, want it, or run from it. Sometimes I find myself running from it but still desiring it but not quite sure how to always maintain it. When it comes to family and close friends, I have no problem but when it comes to the opposite sex well "Houston we have a problem"! You'd think by now I'd have it all figured out and know exactly but seeing as how I'm constantly evolving and discovering new things about myself, the idea of it changes. I guess in someways that's a part of life but it's something I very much desire so I am gonna work harder at not running from it. Not expecting others to fill in the voids that I have created myself and not filled in. To not be afraid when it is staring me right in the face. To be more open, honest, and sincere of my needs and desires. I only live once so why not live life to it's fullest potential and let love be my guide! I want to visit New York this year and somehow I wanna make that happen! My birthday would be an ideal time but it's kind of close to Fall and I'd like to experience New York in the summer. I'm gonna work on that! Simplicity is another one of my resolutions that I will try to work on. Every day I will write something. It may be long or short but I will stick with my writing.

And So

It's the last day of the year 2008 and some people are on their way out to party or spend time at home with loved ones or that special someone! I only make minor resolutions that I feel I can keep. Those are love more, care more, be open more, create more, and most of all try to live each day as if it were my last cause tomorrow isn't promised and yesterday can't be today. I'm gonna spend as much of my waking and free time writing. Of course this is during the time my family isn't taking up my time because they deserve it more than anything! So next year has a promise of being better than '08 if I make it so.
Happy New Year!

One Day

One day you're gonna look back and remember how good I was to you
By then it'll be too late
I'll be gone in the wind
And only a faint scent of me will bring back memories
Memories of all the things we use to do
Of all the times I was good to you
Sometimes life has it's little bonuses
Me as a memory
One that you can't quite bring back to reality
I'll be there somewhere
Tucked way back in your subconscious
Trying to escape
Only so that you can forget about me
So you won't have to wonder where I'll be
Wonder why you can't remember me
I wasn't meant to last for a lifetime
Only for a few seconds
To bring your world sunshine
Shelter you temporarily from the dark clouds that lay ahead
The wind blows
You catch a faint scent of my memory
One day
You'll remember how good I was to you
But by then it'll be too late

~soulgroovy

Poetry Pieces

Poetry Pieces is a few poems that I have written and feel the need to share. They have been written at different times in my life, mostly this year and I am trying to learn how to share them with others instead of keeping them bottled up inside so here goes.........

~Time On My Side~

Sometimes time has a way of getting in the way

Delaying what wants to be done

Speeding what needs to be done

Time passes us by without a second thought

Still we go on with joy and laughter

~As One~

Is it possible to be one with someone
Not knowing their beginning and your ending
Is this the start of the something beautiful
That everyone talks about
Is it really all that matters
The ying the yang
The beginning the end
The start the finish
Time tells all
Though it won't stand still
To allow a moment to enjoy the moment
To feel the newness of possibly
maybe
something wonderfully beautiful
I speak from my heart which is a direct connect to my soul
The treasure I hold
only belongs to one soul

~If Only For A Little While~

And so I saw your face for the first time
In a long time
My heart began to melt
Only for a moment
The sound of your voice
Sent chills down my spine
And still I wonder
How all this time
It has only been for a little while
I wanted to hold you
Comfort you
But that was someone else's job now
We just had to know if only for one last time
If it was really meant to be
We are living in the past
Of how great it use to be
But the reality of now
Is that it isn't so
We have grown
Each in our own way
Still seeing your face
Makes my heart melt
The sound of your voice
Sends chills down my spine
And if only for a little while
I can pretend that
You are still mine

~soulgroovy

Fairy Tales

"This is a little story that I started writing but haven't worked on it for awhile so I think this would make a good writing exercise to start writing from. Maybe it will draw some in or not either way writing is an obsession for me that needs to be fed daily and so I am going to feed it every day of my life."

Fairy Tales

It was a warm and sunny day as Chris left his apartment for work. He thought it was strange to be so warm so early but was grateful for the sun to be shining as he rode his bike. He loved how Chicago looked early in the morning. Sometimes he would just stop and admire all the people rushing to their destinations, not noticing what nature had to offer. He locked up his bike and ran into the coffee shop to get his daily fix. A mocha latte was his weakness and he feared that one day they would become the death of him. He looked at his watch and realized he only had ten minutes to make it to the staff meeting before he would get into trouble for being late, again. He placed his messenger bag on his desk and ran to the conference room just in time to make the morning meeting. He still couldn't believe that only a month out of college he lucked up to get a job working for the local city paper. It actually kind of fell into his lap and he knew he couldn't let the opportunity pass him by. He had wrote stories for his college newspaper and some how they ended up on the Editor's desk. The editor personally gave him a call and invited him in for an interview. He was quite impressed with his work and offered him a job right there on the spot. A year later and he loves his job even more.

So What's Next?

So now the first holiday is over and there is one more to go. This next holiday will be the ending of '08 and the beginning of '09. Many times we like to try and reflect on our past and see what we would like to do in the future. I always make resolutions that I never seem to keep. I still will make some for the next year and see if I can keep them. There are some things I am thinking of giving up and some new things I want to try out. I realize that some of these things are going to be a very demanding and hard feat to overcome but I have to be up for the challenge. Most times I think I am stronger than I give myself credit for but I let doubt of my abilities get in my way and second guess myself. That is something I can work on for next year and see what time will bring. The best part of life is the opportunity to grow, change and even reinvent yourself if you so choose. For next year I am going to grow, change and possibly reinvent some of the parts of myself that need reinventing. We shall see!

Time To Flip The Script

I've been thinking I need to expose some other facades of my writing. I realize my thoughts and observations aren't always so entertaining to others and thought I'd try something that might be. It could be a good thing or a bad thing but it still gives me the chance to write and express myself! Life is only what you make it and writing is part of me making it. A part of me and I desire I need to feed for as long as I can. So my next posts will be from a different side of me and hopefully it will take me to another level.

Nite Owling

Is it possible that I do my best writing when I can't sleep or my worse writing when I can. Came across a story that I wrote sometime back but unfinished. It appears I had a case of writers block. I wonder if me not wanting to read it makes it boring or because I already know what it is about. I'm also concerned that if I do start reading, I'll unblock my writers block and get somewhat obsessed with finishing the story. Creating unnecessary pressure on myself. I'm curious as to how my perception of the story would be now since I have written it sometime ago. Maybe I should give it a look and see if I can pick up where I left off. Not much time left since I'm gonna pick my classes back up after the holidays! It would make a great outlet to blow off steam possibly! I am no where near sleepy and I need to get up soon! Writing is my solace and soothes my soul. It comforts me in my time of need and the calming of the storm that sometimes rages within me. Writing is so much a part of who I am! If it never reaches the masses, I'm still content with setting my words free!

Observations

There is so much technology around us. You can use your phone to surf the net, keep track of appointments, send emails as well as messages and what do you know.....make calls. I generally like the idea of being connected but not always reachable. Alas I'd be lost without my Blackberry Pearl so it is always with me. Not to mention the fact that it takes up much of my free time. I can't possibly imagine life without it! I desire to be a BlackBerry user for life. The only other phone that does keep my interest is the iPhone but the typing on the touch screen is somewhat a turn off. I have an iTouch and it isn't the greatest way to type long messages on let alone thoughts I'd like to post to my Blog. Honestly I am probably the only one who reads it. I have a few ideas that I want to try out but I don't know if I have the time to keep up with it. Maybe after the holidays I'll revisit the idea! Maybe I'll give myself a prompt to write from everyday. That way I am posting and writing more often. I wanna write til my fingers feel numb. That's how I'll know I've been actually feeding this obsession of mine. Only time will tell but I guess I've said enough for now!

Does it always need a "Title"?

Once again I am up in the wee hours of the morning and taking a two hour nap only helped in allowing me to be up at this time. It's quiet in my house so actually this is a good time to get some writing in. The only sound is the voice of Lauryn Hill and D'Angelo singing "Nothing Even Matters", classic. Really music is my solace right next to writing. I listen to almost any and everything, depending on my mood. Opera is kind of hard for me to get into but I don't mind the exposure. Secretly I believe I would enjoy being a journalist but there is or was some unknown fear that has or had prevented me from pursuing such a career. Even still I envy those who get to sit at a computer all day and write, write, write. It may not be as glamorous as I imagine it to be but the idea of getting to write all day seems quite appealing to me at this moment in time. I also fancy technology as well and want to fill my head with as much tech knowledge as I can but somehow I feel an external hard drive would be in order because there just isn't enough free space to store all of that wealth of info in my brain. I still have to remember the important as well as basic things and too much could cause a system overload. Music inspires me to sometimes write poetry that otherwise wouldn't have come with silence. Guess that's enough of rambling for now!

Why not give it a shot?

I have been writing poetry among other things for almost twenty years of my life but somehow it seems that whenever I read something by another writer, I feel that mines is not quite good enough and that I need to just give up all together. It should be that simple but I think writing for me is a way that I deal with issues as well as an almost addiction that I don't want a twelve step program for. As they say life is what you make it and this is what makes up for some of my life. The best part about this idea is the fact that when I can't sleep, I can come here a ramble on about nothing and not worry about proper English, spelling (although that is a pet peeve of mine), grammar, punctuation, etc. I can let go and be free and express myself in any shape form or fashion no matter who reads or does not read my postings. Well I have to get up in an hour or so, so I better try to get some sleep at least to make it through the day of work tomorrow.

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