Monday, July 27, 2009

Randomness

Saturday I had my very first photo shoot that I was completely nervous about. Never did I expect to have so much fun nor see another side of me. The camera embraced me and I saw a beauty in myself that I hadn't noticed before.. I have always been modest and didn't believe in being vain on any kind of level. It isn't wrong I realize to believe in yourself and do allow the beauty within to add confidence to your self-esteem. In the past couple of months I have been doing some internal house cleaning! Packing away things that were no longer of importance, mean me any good or pretend to be your friend in your face but talk negative behind your back. Funny thing about that is, they've got it all wrong anyway. I have become stronger in knowing that I don't have to subject myself to negativity! I don't have to share my body or soul with someone who has no intentions on respecting me, loving me, and embracing me as I am! I deserve better than what I have allowed and will not accept anything less. I know who I am, what I can do and how far I will go so there is no need to compromise my dignity! Funny how spending hours behind a camera brings some light into other aspects of your life. I feel a strong care for someone who has been in my life but feared to speak of it directly because it may push them away. I now realize my ♥​ doesn't lie to me and through everything it has not wavered and if they cannot accept me speakin from MY ♥​ then he isn't enough for me! I always thought that speaking from my ♥​ was too much for a person to handle but I now realize it's a great gift that has helped me in so many aspects of my life. One I thank God for everyday because I will do great things with it through him! So now everyday, I am changing, growing stronger and will reach one of my many ultimate goals. With God, any and everything is possible and I will continue my internal house cleaning journey through him! I will be still, listen and then react on his word for without him I would be nothing. He spared my life as a child for a reason and I am now beginning to see just why! My gift that he has blessed me with should be shared with the world.....it has been his plan from the start!